I am going to try to be as tactful as possible in this post.
But we all know I'm better at being direct than at being polite.
On Wednesday, March 11, when I saw the texts from my teammate and everything started to get too real, there was one thing above all else that I was thankful for in my situation.
I am beyond grateful that I do not have any children.
Now, I usually have that feeling anyway, because this is a personal decision to be childfree that Marc and I made years ago.
But this.
This rapidly spiralling insanity made me even more thankful that I am not a parent. I am not obligated to explain this to a child. I am not in absolute fear for my child's life or their future if something were to happen to me. There are other reasons, but those are the main two.
One of my other childfree friends wrote me that there are some parents who will envy our peaceful homes during this quarantine period.
Some of my other friends with kids have already been being super-moms, and now they are super-corona-moms. If you need accounts to follow and be inspired, please follow on Instagram @jfray5 and @mrseppler and @catcmonroe.
However, this is a request to not be ridiculous.
Right away, I started seeing messages and memes about the "Coronials Baby Boom" that will come about in nine months. Because, obviously, people will be at home, bored, with no sports to watch, so, of course, they will just have unprotected sex. What else could they possibly do with all this new time?!
This is wrong FOR SO MANY REASONS.
1. Sex is not a solution for approximately sixteen to twenty hours of boredom.
2. If you are only willing to have more sex with someone because you are bored, the other person should not want to have sex with you.
3. Same as above, but you should also not want to have a child with this kind of person.
4. Procreating on purpose during a global health crisis is plain SELFISHNESS and IGNORANCE.
5. Having unprotected sex is IRRESPONSIBLE and SHORT-SIGHTED during a worldwide pandemic.
6. If you didn't already know that the world is an unpredictable and dangerous place, you have been living under a rock. Maybe even under a mountain.
7. If you can just step outside of your own perspective for a full five minutes and try to ask yourself if you had the choice to join the human contingent on Earth RIGHT NOW, would you want to be here? Most people would say, "NO." Respect that decision as the decision of an unborn child and do not force their entry into this mess.
8. It is not difficult to have protected sex and avoid pregnancy. Take the necessary measures. We have been smart and effective for over twelve years and have no intention of becoming lax in this effort.
9. If anything, there would be a baby boom nine months AFTER THE END OF THE CRISIS. While I do not personally support the manic populating of our planet, I could at least find a bridge to understanding why people would feel more comfortable and safer to become parents after the pandemic has been declared OVER.
10. Finally, this is wrong because there are thousands of children with no homes, no parents, no futures. So if you're really SO bored that having a child all of a sudden becomes a good idea, GO ADOPT ONE. OR TEN. Then have as much protected sex as you want.
Bonus Idea: Go adopt a pet from a shelter!
IF YOU'RE ALREADY A PARENT
For crying out loud. Do NOT complain about having to spend time with your kids. They are literally YOU. You are not trapped with your children. You brought them here, whether intentionally or accidentally, but they are definitely from you. If anything, they are trapped with YOU.
In fact, you finally have the gift of getting to spend huge amounts of time with them in their most developmental years (I'm talking ages 0 to 18, so nobody gets out of this).
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE TIME.
If this means you're having to skip work (but actually, most of the "work" is from home or on standstill now, anyway) to spend time with your kids, you should be thanking God for the opportunity to be a full-time parent. Make this the most memorable time you have ever spent with them and make the effort to lighten this crisis for their young hearts and minds.
FOR EVERYONE...
This pandemic is showing how quickly the world can switch to digital relationships and communication. We need to take advantage of this to survive right now, but realize that we will need to return to non-technological communication and relationships as soon as we can. So please do not lose hope or sight of returning to embracing our friends and family, sharing food together, and going back to our events and group settings.
If anything, we are learning how social we actually are, and how much of our lives revolve around the community. Lean into that and expect even more meaning from it when we step out of this invisible darkness.
On Day 4, I talked to a lost hedgehog. I did backyard sprints and made tacos. I talked to my mom for an hour and a half. I have had two new players on flights every day since Thursday, March 12, and the last two should make it home late on Wednesday.
You can follow all of my daily updates during the CoVid-19 quarantine here.