When the #ScooterSquatter Became the Scooter OWNER

So, LEUTE.

Yes, you read that title correctly. The #ScooterSquatter is going to have her own prop finally!

By the time summer rolls around in Deutschland this year, I will be the proud owner of my own beautiful and fabulous E-One! This is an electric scooter made by the environmentally-savvy Savitron Mobility in Germany. 

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This offer seemed literally too good to be true, so I even made sure I test drove this Vespa-look-alike myself! For ONE MORE WEEK, you can use my code "scooterswag" for a discount and still take advantage of the pre-sale package that includes what's listed in the caption below the next photo!

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The most exciting thing, of course, has been figuring out which color will be the most fun to drive around The Burg! Which color did I choose...?!

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You can always check out my Instagram account @whatupswags for all the latest updates and watch for when my scooter shows up sometime in May!!! 

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Day 4: Semi-Quarantined Against CoVid-19 KIDS

Leute, Leute, Leute.

I am going to try to be as tactful as possible in this post.

But we all know I'm better at being direct than at being polite.

On Wednesday, March 11, when I saw the texts from my teammate and everything started to get too real, there was one thing above all else that I was thankful for in my situation.

I am beyond grateful that I do not have any children.

Now, I usually have that feeling anyway, because this is a personal decision to be childfree that Marc and I made years ago.

But this.

This rapidly spiralling insanity made me even more thankful that I am not a parent. I am not obligated to explain this to a child. I am not in absolute fear for my child's life or their future if something were to happen to me. There are other reasons, but those are the main two.

One of my other childfree friends wrote me that there are some parents who will envy our peaceful homes during this quarantine period.

Some of my other friends with kids have already been being super-moms, and now they are super-corona-moms. If you need accounts to follow and be inspired, please follow on Instagram @jfray5 and @mrseppler and @catcmonroe.

However, this is a request to not be ridiculous.

Right away, I started seeing messages and memes about the "Coronials Baby Boom" that will come about in nine months. Because, obviously, people will be at home, bored, with no sports to watch, so, of course, they will just have unprotected sex. What else could they possibly do with all this new time?!

This is wrong FOR SO MANY REASONS.

1. Sex is not a solution for approximately sixteen to twenty hours of boredom.

2. If you are only willing to have more sex with someone because you are bored, the other person should not want to have sex with you.

3. Same as above, but you should also not want to have a child with this kind of person.

4. Procreating on purpose during a global health crisis is plain SELFISHNESS and IGNORANCE.

5. Having unprotected sex is IRRESPONSIBLE and SHORT-SIGHTED during a worldwide pandemic.

6. If you didn't already know that the world is an unpredictable and dangerous place, you have been living under a rock. Maybe even under a mountain.

7. If you can just step outside of your own perspective for a full five minutes and try to ask yourself if you had the choice to join the human contingent on Earth RIGHT NOW, would you want to be here? Most people would say, "NO." Respect that decision as the decision of an unborn child and do not force their entry into this mess.

8. It is not difficult to have protected sex and avoid pregnancy. Take the necessary measures. We have been smart and effective for over twelve years and have no intention of becoming lax in this effort.

9. If anything, there would be a baby boom nine months AFTER THE END OF THE CRISIS. While I do not personally support the manic populating of our planet, I could at least find a bridge to understanding why people would feel more comfortable and safer to become parents after the pandemic has been declared OVER.

10. Finally, this is wrong because there are thousands of children with no homes, no parents, no futures. So if you're really SO bored that having a child all of a sudden becomes a good idea, GO ADOPT ONE. OR TEN. Then have as much protected sex as you want.

Bonus Idea: Go adopt a pet from a shelter!

IF YOU'RE ALREADY A PARENT

For crying out loud. Do NOT complain about having to spend time with your kids. They are literally YOU. You are not trapped with your children. You brought them here, whether intentionally or accidentally, but they are definitely from you. If anything, they are trapped with YOU.

In fact, you finally have the gift of getting to spend huge amounts of time with them in their most developmental years (I'm talking ages 0 to 18, so nobody gets out of this).

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE TIME.

If this means you're having to skip work (but actually, most of the "work" is from home or on standstill now, anyway) to spend time with your kids, you should be thanking God for the opportunity to be a full-time parent. Make this the most memorable time you have ever spent with them and make the effort to lighten this crisis for their young hearts and minds.

FOR EVERYONE...

This pandemic is showing how quickly the world can switch to digital relationships and communication. We need to take advantage of this to survive right now, but realize that we will need to return to non-technological communication and relationships as soon as we can. So please do not lose hope or sight of returning to embracing our friends and family, sharing food together, and going back to our events and group settings.

If anything, we are learning how social we actually are, and how much of our lives revolve around the community. Lean into that and expect even more meaning from it when we step out of this invisible darkness.


On Day 4, I talked to a lost hedgehog. I did backyard sprints and made tacos. I talked to my mom for an hour and a half. I have had two new players on flights every day since Thursday, March 12, and the last two should make it home late on Wednesday.


You can follow all of my daily updates during the CoVid-19 quarantine here.

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31: (Almost) Adulthood Arrives

In the course of just two weeks this July, I feel like I went from being 19 to nearly my real age: 31.

July, 2017, hit me like a ton of adulthood.

I got my first pair of eyeglasses.

I got a membership to the local fitness gym.

I got a car. (Read: I have to remember how to pump gasoline again.)

I got a real German cell phone plan.

I learned how to make mango salsa.

I started processing my German volleyball coaching license.

We moved into a 3-story house...with TWO bathrooms.

The house also came with a huge backyard and a cat - all technically belonging to our landlord neighbor, but adoptable as needed.

It was a bit overwhelming at first. I mean, we were totally okay with our minimalist existence and barely anything to clean or take care of. The overwhelming bit was because everything on this list happened in the same two weeks!

Granted, most of these additions to our world were provided by our sports club jobs. After six years of living like hobos, the grown up way of life seems extremely nice. Yes, it's more upkeep and responsibility, but we will handle it and see how it goes.

Besides, there are still two main things about our home life that won't ever change: the television (that isn't even plugged in) is not the centerpiece of our living area and our very clean and quiet house is contentedly childfree.

Welcome to my true twenties...at 31.

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#Mad4Christmas

We are in a strange classification.

Yes, we love Christmas.

Let's go back to Madrid!

No, we don't decorate. At all.

We've been married seven years, and we've never even had a tree.

But, once upon a time, we did get engaged on Christmas day. In a lot of ways, we count Christmas as our anniversary.

Because we do our anniversary differently, too. I don't think we've been together on August 3rd for even half of our seven anniversaries!

Therefore, if we translate Christmas as our anniversary, then it makes a lot more sense why we don't have a tree. Nobody puts up a pine tree for their anniversary!

Christmas has always been a great and wonderful time in both of our lives. Since moving to Europe, it got better in two ways. One, Marc now had a full two weeks off from basketball. And two, we were now in proximity to so many awesome places to visit!

This year, we are repeating our Christmas destination for the first time by returning to Madrid, Spain. Last year, Madrid really charmed us with its sunshine, lively atmosphere, and delicious food.

We had to come back for more!

So even though we may do Christmas a little bit differently than most Americans, and we definitely buck tradition on anniversaries, we are thankful for our time together in some of the coolest places on Earth. It's our version of gift-giving.

Happy Anniversary to us, and Merry Christmas to you!!!

You can follow along SwagVil's #Mad4Christmas experience on Instagram and Twitter!

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Childfree Series: Identity, Culture, Home

This is the third and final installment of the Childfree series. I hope I don't feel the need to blog about this topic again for at least a decade.

The previous installment (Childfree: 15 Things They've Said) concluded with the line:

Your home is your sacred place, and it's up to you to make your sacred place a happy one. Whether you decide to fill it with people or things or as little as possible - your home will be what you make it!

The most content people in the world have all arrived at the same place. They are comfortable and secure in their identity. They know who they are and how to be that person. Happy people can be found across the entire personality spectrum because being comfortable in one's own skin is an achievable target for anyone.

You have your own individual identity, then you also have an identity for each of your relationships. If your identity is still in process, your decisions are probably influenced by people with a stronger sense of personal identity. Your personal identity and the identity of your relationship with whomever you live with are the key factors in the culture and home life you will create and maintain.

What is our identity as a married couple?

We were best friends after one week of working together, dating after one month of long-distance phone calls, engaged six months after we met, and married the following summer. Rest assured, when we know what we want to do, we usually get it done.

We are us.

When curve balls come our way - job changes, financial issues, moving, whatever - we just do our best to catch what life throws at us. We cherish our flexibility and adaptability. Of course, we'd love to buy our dream condo someday on the south coast of Spain. It's not about avoiding "settling down;" it's much more about having the freedom to "up and go" at any given moment. Spontaneous adventures for one or two people are a lot cheaper and logistically more realistic than for four or six!

What kind of culture and traditions are we creating?

"Our culture" is weird. We've melted our American attitudes with French habits and styles. Some things about us are super American (we are always early and we love to communicate and express ourselves) and in some ways we are very European (we prefer walking over driving and enjoy our quarterly vacation time way too much). I don't think it's quite like a TCK (third-culture-kid) because our cultural changes have been our own choices, not something someone else has chosen for us.

We have learned that we will not fit in certain cultures. Rural and suburban areas, no matter where in the world, tend to be more conservative and family-centered. In rural France this past year, our global perspective of work and travel was very misunderstood and strange to the locals. We may consider ourselves to be generally conservative, but we fit in better in Westernized urban areas where lifestyle diversity is the norm.

Our culture and traditions are also adult-centric. We do not actively seek out time to be around children. We work with kids; we want our down time to be with adults. We really feel a two-hour maximum (the typical length of a sports practice) when we're around little kids. We can make special exceptions for the kids of our best friends, and we'll probably make exceptions for the kids of our family members someday, too. But we are mentally and emotionally prepared to spend time with these children because we haven't burned ourselves out!

What do we want our home life to look like?

We want our home to be quiet. We want our home to be clean. We want our home to be small. We want our home to be there when we need it, but we also don't want to have to be home all of the time. We don't want a yard or a garden or 3 bedrooms. We don't want a dog or a cat or a child or even a fish or a plant - or anything that technically needs us to be around consistently.

We want our home life to be cost-effective and low maintenance.

We are actually excited to be the unconventional uncle and aunt who live in interesting places and who have the freedom and flexibility to "take in the kids" for a week or so. My mom's Uncle Jim and Aunt Wanda never had their own children, and they were always so generous with their time and love to all of us because they had that time and energy saved up!

And hopefully someday that interesting place is on the beach in Spain!

We understand that we are not like a lot of traditional couples. A lot of couples get married in order to have children. We don't proclaim to have found "the only way," but instead that we have found the right way for us.

Know your individual identity, and bring that into your relationship in a positive manner. It's always best to talk openly about your expectations and the future before even getting engaged, and definitely before getting married! Be honest and communicate with your partner to create your identity and culture together. Make your home a place you love to be because, in the end, it's you (and not everyone else who wants this or that) who has to return to it everyday!

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Childfree Series: 15 Things They've Said

These are the top 15 things people have said to me when they heard I didn't want to have kids. Starting with the words I found least offensive at #15, all the way to the #1 comment that breaks my heart.

Why you gotta be so rude?

(For the background on this series, see Childfree Series: Live Your Life!)

#15. "You'll love your own baby."

Love and like are two very different emotions in my world. I like a lot of things/people I don't love and I love a lot of things/people I don't like. I don't need to add to either population.

#14 "You'll love the feeling of being pregnant."

No. I won't. What a strange version of encouragement to give to a thin woman. All I hear is, "You'll love the feeling of getting bigger and bigger and bigger...."

#13. "Don't you want to see what they'll look like?!"

They have apps for that.

#12. "Don't you want grandchildren?!"

Nieces, nephews, great-nieces, and great-nephews will take care of any of those issues, should they arise.

#11. "Who will take care of you when you're old?!"

And if your kids hate you, who will take care of you when you're old? It's okay, you can come over to my place and we'll just take care of each other. (This is NOT a good reason to have children!)

#10. "Babysitting is not even close to the same! When it's your own kids, it is sooooo different!"

You're totally right. It's worse. You can't leave when their real parents come home.

#9. "You would make such a great mom!"

Thank you! Like I said before, I would have also made a great [lots of other things], but I'm not interested in becoming any of them.

#8. "But what if you do get pregnant? I need to know what will happen!"

I don't deal in hypothetical nightmares. Do you want to answer questions about things you never want to happen?

#7. "Nursing your child is one of the most fulfilling experiences a woman can have."

EW. Not all moms are always able to produce milk to nurse their babies (so this is not a guaranteed experience), and this saddens me for those women who want to have this intimacy with their children. But if a woman is grossed out by the prospect of childbirth (like me), referencing nursing is not going to help your cause.

#6. "You'll change your mind."

That's why adoption is the most beautiful act in all the world, and better for everyone. IF we change our minds, you're welcome.

#5. "That's not very Christian of you." // "You're breaking the first commandment."

Because judging me for making a wise decision about my life is sooooooo Christian of you. The commandment breaking thing was just so off-track, it became a 20-minute argument about what the Bible actually says. This guy said the first commandment was, "Go forth and multiply," told to Adam and Eve. I told him the real first commandment of the 10 (no other gods), and topped it off with what the New Testament says about the Old Law and how it can be summed up into two better commandments (love God and love your neighbor as yourself), plus what Paul had to say about married and unmarried people in 1 Corinthians. I "won" the argument when the guy was clearly wrong and tried to shake it off, saying, "I was just trying to make you mad." Seriously, what is wrong with some people? And don't mess with me on Bible trivia.

#4. "You were created to have children."

I was created to glorify God. Some women do that through having babies, I do that through shining the light that Jesus is on all the people around me. If every woman's purpose is to bear children, then have fun explaining that postulate to single, barren, or abused women. Haven't we moved on from the 1850s yet?

#3. "You don't know what you want."

And you do? Thank you so much for telling me I'm an idiot! Clearly, all I do is make poor decisions, just look at how horrible my life is.

#2. "I can't wait until you accidentally get pregnant so I can laugh in your face!"

I don't curse, but if I did, all of those pretty expletives would be inserted here and directed at you.

#1. "Maybe your family would visit you in Europe if you had children."

This hurts me so deeply. My family will only want to spend time with me if I procreate? When I start to think about this too much, I get so angry/upset/sad/crazy.

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These are literally 15 quotes that real people (some men, but mostly women) have said to me out loud. I'm not easily offended, and I have had mostly very calm responses and a good attitude when listening to these comments. But every time I re-read the words and I remember the incredulous tones of their voices, the mocking expressions on their faces, and how completely disrespected I felt in these moments.

If you've been on the receiving end of quotes like these, you understand, and I stand with you. If you've ever said anything like this to anyone: apologize now and never do it again. Your words are so much more hurtful than helpful, and you are ruining the perceptions of young men and women of what it could possibly mean to become a parent.

You think you're being cute and encouraging, and really, you're just stirring up resentment and bitterness. You want to change someone's mind about having children? Leave alone the kids that don't exist, and ask them real questions about things that matter to them right now. Have conversations, and stop bullying people into situations that actually might not be good for them. Not everyone is meant to become a parent, and it's not anyone's job to determine who is and isn't - especially if the person is talking to a complete stranger!!! With loved ones, they should know that they are loved more than anything they could possibly procreate.

The best and most objective book I've ever read on the topic of whether or not to have children is Complete Without Kids by Ellen L. Walker. It was a free e-book on a reading app that I started reading when I was bored. The author is a psychologist who interviews all kinds of men and women who can define themselves as childfree - or childless, depending on your point of view - by choice, chance, or circumstance. Even if you want kids more than anything, this book can help everyone better understand the people like me who just aren't going to have kids.

What's really insane is that even mothers can relate to the comments I've received above. Being pregnant brings on a whole new onslaught of rudeness, from the guessing about due dates to the, "Are you having twins?" lines. Actual motherhood opens up the doors for all the "professional parents" out there to tell you how to raise your child. I'm sure women in all walks of life could make a list like this of ignorant, ridiculous, and rude comments we have received at some point or another.

The reality is that the rudeness will never really end. It sucks. But if we take the high road and each do our part to be a little less nosy and make fewer assumptions, we can better support each other and stop making things worse.

We will never be able to make everybody happy. Instead of wasting our time trying to please the haters, we must learn to be happy with ourselves and our partners, in whatever situations we face (by choice, chance, or circumstance!).

Your home is your sacred place, and it's up to you to make your sacred place a happy one. Whether you decide to fill it with people or things or as little as possible - your home will be what you make it!


Next up in the Childfree Series: Identity, Culture, Home.
 

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Childfree Series: Live Your Life!

Welcome to a series about the most controversial subject in my life: our decision to be childfree. This series should end up as 3 posts over the next few months, but I could talk about this forever, so we will see! I tried to wait to write these posts until I would be too old to have children, but I can't wait 15 more years to talk about this, I'll go crazy. You might be thinking, "This is soooooo not what I thought Swags' blog was about!" But really, Volleyball = Travel for us because we are childfree!

I always thought that being a Christian would be the most controversial thing about me, but as it turns out, it doesn't bother nearly as many people as when I say, "I'm not having kids." Whether you are a man or a woman who wants children, who doesn't want children, or who is still undecided, this series is about a lot more than just babies. It's about life, death, marriage, singleness, and for anyone who cares about what they want their life to look like, both right now and in the ever-distant future. Et alors...

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Always smug.

I believe every new day is a bonus.

With that said, I never expected to live this long.

Yes, it's true: I'm only 29 years old. But my perception of life and time was radically altered at 16, when my best friend was killed in a car accident.

I didn't become a morbid, death-obsessed life-hater. Nor did I become greedy, thinking I deserved to live to be 102.

I have goals and dreams - maybe you could even call this my "bucket list" - just like a lot of other people. But unlike a lot of other people, my "things to do" come with a clause.

If given the time, I will experience [insert anything here]. If I don't get around to doing something or going somewhere, that's okay, too.

I hate hate HATE hearing someone assert, "I have to go to [insert place] before I die," or the worst, "If I don't [insert verb] before I die, I will have never lived!"

My best friend, Kristie Priano,
a few months before she died.

How dare we assume that we deserve to be alive, that our allotted time on earth has anything to do with who we are, or what our schedule looks like?! Many see their lives, their times on earth, as something they should have, something they've somehow earned by being born, a kind of "right" to live long and prosper. But instead of believing everyone should live to be 102, we should wake up everyday, grateful to be 85, 55, 25, or even just 15 years old.

If you've experienced the death of a young person, you hopefully get this. "Their life was cut short," everyone said. Unfortunately for our finite thinking, that's simply not true. Their life was all of the life they were meant to live. This can be very hard and uncomfortable to accept, and you may disagree with me. But that doesn't change the fact that the person is, indeed, not physically with us anymore.

Whether you are religious or not, it's irrelevant. We will all die. Some sooner than others. The longer you get, the better you should make it. For some people, that means having children. For others, it means not having children.

My decision not to have children is firmly rooted in my worldview of life and death. I have thousands of other reasons (don't even get me started on the idea of pregnancy), then add in my husband's even more reasons for a really wild number that's a waste of time to count that high.

I'm not trying to convince you to not have kids.

I just want 2 things. I want you to really think about it beforehand because it will change your life forever - sometimes for the best, sometimes not so much for the best. And I want everyone to laisse tomber, with me and with everybody else. It's nobody's business but your own.

The parent-to-child relationship is not one I will pretend to understand through experience, but what I know is from observation. A lot of observation. I feel like I've been spying on families for 29 years, taking notes on these most intense relationships humans can have. I've seen a lot of love, a lot of pain, and a lot of emotions, in general.

Thankful for my parents and sister, who have always given us 100% of their support.

I don't think any parent will argue with me the fact that "parenting is a full-time job." I've mostly heard that quoted by parents, then quickly followed up with, "but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world." I am sincerely very happy for you. You've chosen your path, you are happy with your choice, and you have all the love in the world for your child(ren). And I agree, parenting is an all-consuming lifestyle.

Travel with me on the "full-time job" perspective of parenting for a minute. If something is a full-time job, it takes on a role of a career in our lives. Volunteering at a homeless shelter can become like a full-time job and career, just as much as what we would consider a "real job" with pay. Parenting is a sort of surrogate career add-on to whatever else someone already does.

I have been told or thought at some point in my life that I would make a great: surgeon, lawyer, engineer, artist, psychologist, sniper, architect, hotel manager, journalist, advertiser, President of the United States, missionary, athletic trainer, wedding planner, computer tech, diplomat, actress, novelist, and P.E. teacher, to name a few, and some I even tried out for some time. I was blessed with a lot of motivation in school and I know I could have trained for tons of different careers. We all know that we can't take every life path. Just like doors and windows don't always open or present themselves. We are the product of our choices, which are the reactions to our circumstances. What have I ended up as? A volleyball player and coach, moonlighting as an English tutor, who loves writing and traveling.

I also seriously considered a career in pop music.

I do not choose the career path of motherhood. It's not for me. I would choose nearly every single one of the aforementioned careers over motherhood even now. I would rather go back to school for 10 years and become a doctor instead of growing a child inside of me for 9 months to become a mother. I would rather raise the money and support to become a missionary in the African jungle with no running water or electricity for the rest of my life instead of trying to keep a new human happy and alive everyday for 18 years.

Me being a missionary. Bless you, and you, and even you!

No, this is not just because that imaginary biological clock has not started ticking. If you want to insist the clock is real, then realize that I didn't get one embedded in me.

If you want (or need) someone to blame, blame Barbie. She had awesome careers and great friends (Hey, Ken) and family (Skipper was the coolest!), but never became a mother (at least as far as I know). Her physical image may not be something to aspire to, but her lifestyle image sure left an impression on me!

I chose the career on the far left (just change out the soccer ball for a volleyball).

(For a more realistic role model than a Barbie doll, see what these successful women have to say about their decisions about children here.)

Think what you want about my character, personality, and decisions. I'm outrageously and annoyingly happy more often than not. My life is AMAZING, and better than anything I could have dreamed up 20 years ago. Teenagers ask me if I'm on drugs, I'm so happy. My coworkers say I'm like "a wrecking ball of sunshine," and "the only person who really loves her job."

Just know this: my husband and I know ourselves and each other best. We don't want children for way more reasons than anyone needs.

We believe that if you don't have multiple excellent reasons to have kids, you shouldn't have them at all.

Blakers is almost 2 already!

Will I miss out on motherhood and the love of my own child? Yes, and I'm okay with that. I have children and future-children all over my life through friends and family. "Phase: Aunt Swags" is just getting started.

But the path I've chosen has things mothers will miss out on (if you can't imagine what those things could possibly be, read the rest of my blog to see what my childfree life is like) (spoiler alert: it's rad). I have more love and happiness in my life than I know what to do with, so don't worry about me. We all have to pick and choose, and pray we can be happy with the final version of ourselves, whenever our time draws to a close.


Next up in the series: Real quotes from real people when they hear I don't want kids. You've either heard these before, or said them yourself!

P.S. If you hate-mail comment me below, you'll probably get included in the next post. Yay!

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These Favorite Holiday Plans

13 days.

Even though we've been blessed with a long and cool fall, and we are beyond thankful that the temperatures didn't drop below 50 degrees Fahrenheit until December . . .

We are dying to go to Spain.

Before we make decisions.

Back in 2010/2011 when This Europe Thing was just an idea, maybe for fun, maybe for real, we had to ask ourselves a lot of questions.

Can we afford it? How long will we want to live overseas? Can we be happy in Europe? What countries do we think we can actually live in? Will we survive the cold? Will we be homesick? How will it affect our family/friend relationships? Will the rewards outweigh the risks?

One of the big things to consider was the fact that the sports seasons last from September to May.

What would we do for Christmas?

While we make decisions.

We quickly realized that shelling out $2000 to fly 15 hours each way to California and back for 2 weeks of 9-hour-time-change-jetlag and exhausting ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally by trying to keep 2 families happy . . . was not a good idea. We couldn't justify spending that much money to deal with the really brutal time difference. I receive one paid plane ticket every year from my club. I can use it for 2 weeks or 2 months. This is not a complicated decision.

Marc and I were legitimately wary of our first Christmas abroad. We had both spent 2 separate weeks back in California to finish our visas in October/November. We were waiting for ideas. "Wouldn't it be great to go somewhere awesome . . ." kept on as our recurring conversation. About a week before the vacation was to start, I saw an advertisement for a cruise.

Our tradition of destination Christmases was born.

A Mediterranean cruise. A week in Rome. A road trip to the châteaux of the Loire Valley. And this year: 10 days in Madrid, Granada, and Málaga.

Christmas has become our favorite holiday, and here's why.

1) Winter sunshine is important. We always head south.

2) It's 2 solid weeks off; more than enough time to visit nearby European cities and still have recovery time before getting back to work.

3) We don't do gifts anymore. Turns out we really don't like carrying more stuff every time we move. We get each other trips, and experiences don't weigh anything.

[Our holiday partner in crime, Jes, has the best Christmas gift rule: "I only buy gifts for children." Amen.]

Jes, Tree, Colosseum, Marc, Swags: GREAT decision.

4) We don't decorate. I love Christmas decorations . . . outside, in someone else's house, at the mall . . . basically anywhere that I don't have to set them up, tear them down, store them somewhere for 11 months of the year (or carry the boxes the next time we move).

5) We turned what could have been an annually terrible, sad day for us away from family and friends into a special time of growing together and creating memories that a lot of people only dream about.

You can trust us, we promise.

I've said this often, but it can never be said enough: we are not stereotypical married people (whatever that means in 2014). We're happily different. Please don't misunderstand our logic and be sad for us (especially about our childfree status). Feeling sorry for us is a waste of your emotions. Be sad and pray for those who face world hunger, terminal diseases, and devastating poverty.

We make the best out of the situations that face us, and we commit enthusiastically to whatever we are able to do. We're very fortunate to have found a kindred spirit in this world, and even more fortunate to love and learn together in incredible places.

We've decided to love what we have together.

And our next incredible places will be in Spain.

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