March 22, 2014

It's Over, Facebook

It's been real.

As real as an internet connection can possibly be.

But I'm ready to move on.

I've felt this way for a while now. Like for over two years.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. But couldn't you tell I was distancing myself from you?

I don't like how much you've changed. Yes - YOU are the one who has changed, not me. I miss our early days together, when you didn't try to sell me stuff and gossip about everyone.

You always pry into my personal life, and you'll never be satisfied until you know every little detail about who I am, who I want to be, who I want everyone to think I am, and every way to contact me in the history of mankind. Anything I have told you, you've told the entire planet. Thanks for your discretion.

Guess what. I don't want you to always know where I am.

Don't give me the, "If you leave me, you won't have anymore friends," line.

And the, "But they won't know how to get a hold of you without me!"

Right. As if Gmail, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube accounts aren't enough. As if I don't have a real life husband, sister, mother, or father who can get to me at a moment's notice. As if my blog doesn't keep my family and friends "in the know" about what's happening in my life. Even a Google search can find a way to contact me.

In fact, the only reason you've lasted this long is because of my blog. I thought it needed you. Turns out, it does just fine without you.

Be honest with yourself; you knew this day would come. After getting rid of my cell phone, it was only a matter of time before you would be next. Your "Wall" has been disabled for years. The "Only Me" privacy setting is my favorite button. That and the "Unfollow" click.

Really, you're better off without me. You have a large majority of the earth's population to keep you busy, and they actually like you. After a few hours, you probably won't even remember my name.

I'm more than okay with that. Please forget me as soon as you can.

You're probably thinking I won't be able to do it. Sure, I can be clean for a week, maybe two, but eventually I'll just come crawling right back to you, begging to be let back into your world.

Even after ten years together, you still don't know me at all. I'm That Girl Without a Phone. I definitely don't need you to be happy.

Losing you is gaining freedom. Freedom to choose who I listen to, whose photos I see, and who will talk with me. But most of all: it is the freedom from the time I have spent with you.

It used to be said that after you break up with someone, you find out who your real friends are.

These days, you find out who your real friends are when you delete your Facebook account.

Goodbye, Facebook.

Hello, Real People.